Henpecked

I'm not really in a mood to write today, and I haven't been for the last few days. I consider myself a positive person. I like to keep in good humor. That's why when I feel down, I'd rather not dwell on it by writing about it...even if that mood pervades all my thoughts.

But on the other hand, if I'm any kind of writer, I should write everyday. So here I am writing even though I don't really feel like it.

Ever since Alba got in the accident last week, she's been EXTREMELY irritable and argumentative. I hate arguing. I hate getting in verbal fights.

So when I'm forced into it, it makes me very irritable and frustrated and a lot more argumentative than I otherwise am.

Well, that only escalates the issue.

It sort of came to a head yesterday when unlike my ordinary behavior, I yelled at her in anger to just shut up, I don't want to hear another word.

I don't want to justify what I did. Even if I was extremely angry and frustrated. I should be more understanding. She's obviously traumatized from the accident and suffering some kind of depression, maybe PTSD.

But I'm only human. So when I should be patient and understanding, I'm impatient and self-centered.

I admit it.

But she's still irritable and I'm still very frustrated. I don't even feel like going home tonight. I just want to hang out with some guy friends and have a couple of beers. Guys don't yell at each other and say things like "if you really cared about me, you'd..."

But then if she found out I drank a couple of beers, she'd start riding my ass about how I shouldn't be wasting money on alcohol, that it's bad for me, that I smell like a homeless man, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then I'd get even more frustrated because she'd STILL be irritable and I'd probably yell at her again to shut her trap that I don't want to hear another word.

I don't know any other way to describe it, I feel henpecked! To be honest, it didn't just start last week. It's just that it suddenly got a lot WORSE.

It's the sort of thing a guy can only take so much of. So I'm hoping she starts getting in a better disposition sometime soon. It's already enough to make me seriously reconsider this relationship thing.

I really care about Alba. But there's a limit to my patience.

The Stan