The Dark Before The Dawn

A quick word of warning... this is a pretty raw post. I'm feeling the frustration right now and I need to express it.

Starting your own business can be one HELL of a roller coaster ride. In the course of a day you can go from excitement to despair to hope to excitement to exhilaration back to despair.

Anything and everything is possible. And one thing is for SURE: it is HARD... AS... HELL.

Not that I'm complaining. I chose to do this. I'm committed to making it happen. It's been 7 months, and although things are looking up, I have yet to get caught up on the mountain of bills, which keep growing.

I feel I'm always just behind on everything critical and WAY behind on everything else.

This is one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

Alba and I constantly fight about money. There's always bills coming in. It seems like I'm always waiting for a check to arrive. I'm constantly paying overdraft charges on my bank account.

Frankly, the money situation sucks. Certainly not what I'd hoped for by now.

But again... I'm not complaining. I chose to do this. I'm committed to making it happen.

I know I will be successful. I feel it. I have the knowledge. I'm taking the actions. I'm (slowly) changing my mindset.

It's just that sometimes success seems like it's just beyond my reach. It's like I can see it. I can feel it. I know it's right there. I can even taste it. But I just can't quite reach it.

You can imagine the frustration I feel sometimes.

I've been pursuing success for the last two and a half years... although I suppose it's only been since I took the plunge and started my own business that I can really count that as progress.

Before then, I was just learning and wishing. Now I'm actually taking action.

But it's not a linear progress. It's like taking two steps forward, then two steps back, then a full step forward and a half step back. You get the idea.

Progress... but at a snail's pace.

But God knows I will never give up until I reach my goal of $50,000 per month in income.

That's almost 50 times what I made last month. But I know it's possible. Others are doing it. And that's all the encouragement I need.

I will persevere... I will continue plowing ahead... I will do whatever it takes... to break through this invisible wall.

Because just beyond is the fulfillment of all my dreams. And how can I give up when I'm so damn close?

They say it's always darkest just before the dawn.

And I can see the day breaking already...

The Stan