Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle

A little over two months ago, I decided enough was enough.

I was no longer going to allow myself to balloon out of control. I mean, when little kids start saying "daaaaaamn!" as I'm walking by, then I know it's time to get my weight back under control.

I don't know what I got up to because my bathroom scale is broken. (Because the batteries are dead. Just thought I would clarify that.) But I'm betting I was brushing up against 300 lbs.

So I decided to cut all sugar from my diet, cut back on most high-glycemic foods, and focus on eating more quality protein. In addition, I would start getting my fat, jiggly ass outside and moving it around as fast as I could.

That's when I discovered a wonderful, nearly heart-attack provoking exercise regimen perfect for shedding off the pounds like yesterday's underwear.

I like to call it "The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle."

Here's the simple two step plan to implementing this amazing new exercise program...

Step One: Go to Sand Dune Park in Manhattan Beach, CA.
Step Two: Hustle your fat, lazy ass up that 45 degree slope as fast as you can.

If it takes you 30 minutes to get to the top the first time out, and you nearly have a heart-attack, just be patient. You'll soon be breezing your way up in just 10 minutes flat. Don't worry about those well-oiled shirtless slabs of meat rushing all the way to the top in less than two minutes.

This is a competition with yourself.

And believe it or not it works! I've finally worked my way up to going all the way up and down two whole times! And I've lost a solid three inches off my spare tire in the process.

I'll keep you updated on my quest to become a hunk once again. I'm tired of jiggling all over the place, and pouring myself into my desk chair. I prefer being thin and sexy.

Until next time.

The Stan

1 comment:

Shelley said...

Haha - good post, The Stan!