The Importance of Self-Image

More than a desire is needed to master not just a subject or skill, but yourself. Yes...I believe that by being a master of all those things I mentioned in my last post means you have to master yourself. To take control.

But not forceful control.

Let me explain. Often when people decide to loose weight they "force" themselves to diet or exercise. They rely on willpower alone to get the job done. This works for awhile, but eventually, we tire of forcing ourselves to do something we don't naturally want to do. I've had it happen in my life numerous times. Not just with loosing extra flab, but with other things, too.

So the answer is not merely being disciplined to the point of being able to forcefully control yourself by the power of your will. Willpower alone does not result in longterm change. Admit it to yourself. How many times have you tried to change solely on the basis of willpower? How long did it work for you?

Something more is needed for permanent change. More than mere desire. More than strong willpower.

Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics (a book I HIGHLY recommend), explains that the root of the problem is not a lack of willpower, or a lack of desire to change, but a lack of a self-image that naturally incorporates the desired behavior.

For example, if you imagine yourself as someone who has no time to exercise, you're convinced that exercise is not fun, you have better things to do with your time, that exercise is to be avoided, or that it's a necessary evil, etc. Or if you appear in your mind's eye as an overweight person and are convinced that's what you naturally look like, then you'll BE overweight.

In other words, your self image is what determines your behavior. Your behavior determines who you are. Like I said in my post about that ridiculous book, "The Secret" (didn't see the film), you are who you think you are. Maxwell Maltz illustrates this beautifully in Psycho-Cybernetics.

On the other hand, say that you view yourself as an active, involved person. The kind of person who takes care of him(her)self, who eats right, who enjoys physical activity, who is naturally thin and fit...then you'll start naturally exhibiting the kind of behavior to support that self image. No "willpower" required. You just do it because those actions are congruent with who you believe yourself to be.

So the real root of change, then, is to change your self image. I always imagined that someday I'd master all those areas I mentioned in my last post. That has been my problem all along. I hadn't created a self-image that included mastery in those areas today. Right now. Not 10 years from now. It may be too late, then.

So I've decided to try an experiment. A 21-Day experiment. Maxwell Maltz says it takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit. After 21 consecutive days of doing anything, it will suddenly feel strange not to do it.

In the past, I've pretty much focused on one goal at a time. I felt this was the only way to get things done. But I believe I've been doing myself a disservice by thinking this way. We're all multi-dimensional beings. In order to be effective and well-balanced, it's important to have multiple goals we're simultaneously working toward and be able to effectively manage them.

I'll be discussing this 21-Day experiment in my next post.

The Stan

P.S. The image above is a self portrait by the famous Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo, who was considerably more attractive than this painting suggests. (She didn't have such a pronounced "unibrow" either.) But apparently, this is how Frida viewed herself. Many people have unhealthy self-images that make them to be less beautiful, less talented, less intelligent, less emotionally stable, less wealthy, less successful (I could go on) then they should be and have a right to be.