Thursday, September 13, 2007

I Stand Corrected!

I've been helping Alba write up her marketing materials for her new business as a makeup artist, hair stylist, and threading artist. (For some of the guys out there, threading is a hair removal technique that pulls hair out by the roots.)

Alba assured me that her technique of threading, unlike at Ziba and other places that do the same thing, would ensure that the person would not experience pain, nor redness, irritation, soreness, nor infection. She's very careful about disinfecting and using a topical numbing agent.

So...using my writing and marketing skills, I created a headline for her website that read...

My Unique Threading Technique
(Of Hair Removal) Results in
NO Pain...NO Redness...NO Irritation...
NO Soreness...and NO Infection...
GUARANTEED!

Skeptical? Discover it Yourself

Completely RISK FREE!

There. I was proud of myself. I thought I was done.

But then Alba says to me, "Why don't you try the threading yourself. That way you'll know what you're talking about when you write about it."

Well...I suppose that sounds like a reasonable proposition to me. (Thoughts of Mel Gibson in pantyhose come to mind.) I reluctantly agree.

Five minutes later:

OOOOWWWWWW!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! Why do women put themselves through this????? (Images of Steve Carell having his chest waxed come to mind.)

It was definitely NOT pain-free, even with the local anesthetic. So reluctantly, I was forced to change the headline to the somewhat weaker, but more accurate

My Unique Threading Technique
(Of Hair Removal) Results in
Very Little Redness, Irritation, or Soreness and
LESS Pain Than Ziba or Other Places,

GUARANTEED!


Skeptical? Discover it Yourself

Completely RISK FREE!

Well...Life of a marketer, I suppose. Her websites and corresponding sales letters are works in progress and continually evolving. But take a look, and let me know your comments...

www.ThreadingByAlba.com
www.MakeupByAlba.com
www.HairDesignByAlba.com

The Stan

3 comments:

Seth Ward said...

That hurts like a bitch. I tried plucking one of those suckers out once and I cried.

Seth Ward said...

At least you didn't change it to what you really wanted to say.

Jumpin' Jesus and Joseph.
This hurt like hell.
Alba damn near pulled my brain out of my forehead.
I think I'd rather someone yank on my nutts than have Alba "thread" my eyebrow.
In fact, if she so much as steps 1 foot towards my eyebrow, I'm going to empty a can of mace on her left eyeball.

Abel said...

You big baby! It couldn't have hurt that bad. When she fixed my brows, it was quick, easy and not painful at all. I suppose everyone has a different definition of "pain" but for me it was painfree. I'll tell you one thing. I rather have it done Alba's way than to have them plucked. That's for sure!