Crashing a Quinceanera

Last Saturday, Alba insisted I go with her to this quinceanera. A quinceanera is a Mexican tradition celebrating a girl’s 15th birthday. It’s supposed to be a big fiesta.

I’d never been to one. And oddly enough, neither had Alba. She’s Mexican…but not Catholic. And apparently the quinceanera is more of a Mexican Catholic tradition.

So Alba wanted to go.

Now, here’s the thing: Neither Alba, nor I, knew the girl, or any of the family, or anyone who was to go there.

It turns out this family had invited Alba’s sister, X (name has been changed to protect the innocent), who does tailoring work for them. So basically, they are a casual acquaintance, a customer, of X…and X decided she couldn’t go (a diplomatic way of saying she didn’t want to), so she gave the tickets to Alba.

Alba wanted to go…out of curiosity. And she insisted I go with her.

Now, X told us it was a formal occasion. Formal to me means “tuxedo.” So I don my tuxedo (a relic of my performing days) to go to a quinceanera for a girl I don’t know, for a family I’ve never met, for an event where I will be a complete stranger to everyone…and they’re all Latinos.

I just happen to be white (with medium brown hair and green eyes)…and tall…and weigh 280 lbs.

I point all this out to Alba, whereupon she insists “It will be fine, you’ll blend right in.” I’m dubious, but off we go.

For a white guy it’s a somewhat disconcerting experience being the ONLY gringo in a room of 400 Latinos…Moreover if you’re the tallest person in the room. Mexicans…especially native ones…aren’t known for their height. Just ask Alba.

And of course, due to the misunderstanding of what “formal” means, I’m the ONLY guy wearing a tuxedo.

So considering the fact that I’m the only white guy, I’m the tallest guy in the room, and I’m the only one wearing a tuxedo, there ain’t no way ANYONE missed me, and possibly wondered what the hell this gringo was doing crashing their party.

Fortunately, Latino’s are a friendly race. At least this bunch were.

But once I got over the fact that I stuck out like a big white guy in a tuxedo in a room full of short, dark-skinned Hispanics, I began to relax and enjoy myself.

We were seated at a circular table in a large ballroom, with a Mexican band from Yucatan as the main feature. We were even treated to a performance of the traditional village dance of whatever village this family was from.

There’s something very charming about native traditional dances…the native clothing…the Latin ladies...


I have a weakness for Latin ladies…hence my engagement to a Oaxacan native. But to see beautiful young Latinas in the traditional garb doing the traditional dance. I must say it was a pleasurable experience. Not really erotic, mind you. Just pleasurable.

Apart from the fact that I was in a restaurant ballroom in El Segundo, CA, I felt I could have been in Mexico proper. If you close your eyes, you could easily imagine yourself in a small village square, having a grand old fiesta.

The food was awesome. I love Mexican food anyway, (another reason to be with a Mexican woman), and this stuff was particularly good.

But I couldn’t get over just how expensive this party must have been…and for a 15th birthday! You can’t really equate it with the “Sweet 16” tradition in America. I mean, these people went all out. This was no simple house party. The only thing I can equate it to is a wedding reception…complete with "groomsmen," a "groom," "bridesmaids," and the "dress."

Which is why I felt like a wedding crasher.

Of course, I did the polite thing and congratulated the new 15-year-old. I even met her Mother. And I had some pleasurable conversation with the other guests at our table.

All in all it was an enjoyable experience. Alba was wearing this striped, frilled skirt that showed off her beautiful brown legs. It just so happens I love a pair of beautiful brown legs. Especially hers. And that skirt…man! Get’s me excited thinking about it.

Yes…all in all in was a VERY pleasurable evening!

The Stan