Of Ice Cream...and Six Packs

Since this is my first day back in the Blogosphere, I decided to make it a double feature. Actually, I just felt like writing another post.

I decided this week that I've had enough. I haven't worked out regularly in over three years. I guess love makes you lazy...as opposed to lust, which makes you work hard. I suppose it's the difference between having and wanting. Desire is the mother of all hard work.

But anyway, I've seen my future if I don't change my ways and it looks like this...(see photo) No, that's not me. At least, not yet anyways.

So this morning I started working out with a couple of filled 5-gallon containers of water. (Don't have a gym membership just yet.) They have these convenient little handles on the side which make them look like giant dumbbells.

So I started out with a few lunges and squats with these water-bells...well...

It's amazing how much you use your legs. Walking...standing up...bending down to pick up something...wiping your ass...(that is, if you wipe in a croutched position as I do. I never could understand how any man can do it sitting down.)

Anyway, I'm walking on a wobbly pair of legs today. I mean, even standing up from my chair is like doing another set of squats! I have to keep telling myself: "Come on! You can do it! Just one more rep! Just one!"

I suppose I haven't gone entirely without exercise over the last three years. I do one full situp every day...I do the first half when I wake up in the morning and the other half before I go to sleep.

But I've made my mid-year resolution: I'm going to lose these 80 or so extra pounds of lard I've been cultivating through long hard work...sitting at my desk job.

80 pounds!! In three years!! How did I let myself go so far? I'm as big as I was during my last year in college! And after I'd worked so hard to become a lean mean sexy machine so I could meet someone like Alba!

Well, the late night bowls of ice cream end here, my friends. Bummer...summer's the best season for it! No....must....resist....temptation...

Like my friend Seth, who's finally come to believe Chick-fil-A is evil because of their sumptuously delicious cookies-n-cream shake...I must see my favorite snack (and biggest weakness) for what it is: a concealer of six-packs.

Yep. I've got a six pack. Somewhere underneath all that lard. Just can't see it at the moment...too many bowls of ice cream concealing it. But it's gotta be there...After all, I've done 1,095 sit ups since I've met Alba!

The Stan