The Miracle Drug

I get these terrible headaches sometimes. And today was one of those sometimes. By 10:00 am, I already had a headache worthy of Zeus.

If I get a little dehydrated, or I eat too much sugar, or too much salt, I suffer for it.

I have to stay very-well hydrated, so I drink LOTS of water everyday. In fact, that's about all I drink. Rarely do I drink soda, or milk, or juice, or anything other than water. Because even a little dehydration brings the predictable headache.

Fortunately, for those times when it feels like Athena is poking around in my skull, there's Excedrin Migraine.

Usually, all it takes is one pill. Today was a two-pill day.

But since I rarely drink soda or coffee, I'm pretty sensitive to the caffeine. So here I am, eyes dilated, wired on caffeine just like I've drunk three cups of coffee on an empty stomach.

I hate drugs. I don't trust drug companies. But this drug is awesome. Two pills and I'm back to work--even if a little "twitchy"--when otherwise I'd be in bed in pain for the rest of the day.

So in this case, it's totally worth it. Thank God for the Miracle Drug, Excedrin Migraine.

(Side effects may vary. If you consume 3 or more alcoholic drinks every day, ask your doctor whether you should take acetaminophen and aspirin or other pain relievers/fever reducers. Acetaminophen and aspirin may cause liver damage and stomach bleeding. The recommended dose of this product contains about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. Limit the use of caffeine-containing medications, foods, or beverages while taking this product because too much caffeine may cause nervousness, irritability, sleeplessness, and, occasionally, rapid heartbeat. Do not use if you have ever had an allergic reaction to any other pain reliever/fever reducer, with any other products containing acetaminophen. Taking more than directed may cause liver damage. Ask a doctor before use if you have never had migraines diagnosed by a health professional, a headache that is different from your usual migraines, the worst headache of your life, fever and stiff neck, headaches beginning after or caused by head injury, exertion, coughing or bending, experienced your first headache after the age of 50, daily headaches, a migraine so severe as to require bed rest, asthma, bleeding problems, ulcers, stomach problems such as heartburn, upset stomach, or stomach pain that do not go away or recur, problems or serious side effects from taking pain relievers or fever reducers, vomiting with your migraine headache, taking a prescription drug for anticoagulation (thinning of the blood), diabetes, gout, arthritis; under a doctor's care for any serious condition, taking any other drug, taking any other product that contains aspirin, acetaminophen, or any other pain reliever/fever reducer. Stop use and ask your doctor if an allergic reaction occurs (seek medical help right away), your migraine is not relieved or worsens after first dose, new or unexpected symptoms occur, stomach pain or upset gets worse or lasts, ringing in the ears or loss of hearing occurs. If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use. It is especially important not to use aspirin during the last 3 months of pregnancy unless definitely directed to do so by a doctor because it may cause problems in the unborn child or complications during delivery. Taking more than the recommended dose can cause serious health problems. In case of overdose, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away. Quick medical attention is critical for adults as well as for children even if you do not notice any signs or symptoms.)

The Big "Secret"

Everyone's talking about "The Secret," the movie and companion book about "manifesting" just about anything with your mind.

I'll be the first to admit that the human brain is a very powerful and mysterious thing. I believe it is capable of much more than is generally given credit for. And I believe that we are manifestations of our thoughts. In other words, we are what we think...and we are what we think we are.

The "Secret," the book teaches, is about manifesting anything you desire with the power of your mind. That your thinking "attracts" good and bad things depending on whether your thoughts are good or bad.

On the one hand, I think this touches on a profound truth. But on the other, I think it's a load of horseshit.

Here's the thing: our mind is a powerful thing, yes. What we think determines just about everything in our lives, because we are what we think and we are who we think we are.

But to attribute all success (whether in wealth, status, health, wisdom, talent, learning, relationships, etc.) to the thinking of "positive thoughts" ignores one very powerful element to achieving success in anything:

Action.

I don't give a rat's ass how much "positive energy" you've been conjuring up for that big physics exam. If you haven't taken action and actually studied for it, you just ain't gonna pass!

You can think all the positive thoughts and generate all the manifestation energy you can drum up to conjure up wads of cash...but if you don't actually do something to earn that money (say, by starting a business that meets a need and marketing it successfully), then you're still gonna be a poor broke SOB.

Thoughts are important, yes. I believe it is the foundation to achieving anything. But that's not the end of it. New action and behavior must spring forth from your thoughts.

For example, the book teaches that people are fat because they think of themselves as fat. And that all they've got to do is start thinking themselves as thin and they'll magically start becoming thin. After all, there are thin people who can eat anything they want and still stay thin. (Matt Bingham comes to mind.)

But for anyone with an inkling of respect for science, this is hogwash. Thoughts are important. But they're important because they determine behavior. If you truly want to be thin, start thinking of yourself as thin and fit...and it will change your behavior to reflect your new self-image. If you think of yourself as thin and fit, you're going to start exercising more, you'll start eating healthier. You'll start paying more attention to your body.

But it's the behavior, the action, that gets it done.

But just as thoughts alone don't make things happen, behavior cannot change independent of thoughts.

So in the end, everything starts with the mind. And that's the truth of the secret. I just wish they hadn't dressed it up in a bunch of bullshit.

For a better book on this subject, I recommend "Psycho Cybernetics" by Maxwell Malz. I think it has particular relevance to musicians (but to anyone, really)...and actually was the inspiration for the "Inner Game" series of books, including "Inner Game of Music."

If you want to cut through the bullshit and get to the real meat of the matter, Maxwell Malz is the guy to read.

The Stan

The Stan Plays Marketing Director

Not much to write about today. I hit the "New Post" button before I even knew what I was going to write about. I still have my "Culinary Adventure" post I promised but haven't gotten around to posting yet. But it's on my computer at home, and I'm sitting in my office at work, so...

What to write about?

The only thing I'm looking forward to at the moment is the Battlestar Gallactica Season 3 Marathon on the Sci-Fi channel this week. I'm recording in on my DVR (Time Warner's pathetic version of the Tivo), so I can watch it when I'm actually at home--and not sitting in my office at work.

Speaking of work, things are finally starting to move along. I started as marketing director way back in October. Developed a new marketing plan. Recommended new software. Picked out the software. Bought the software (finally) in late December.

And here we are in May finally about to implement the new software. Not much marketing stuff will happen until we get into the new software, so my salary is still an anemic 40,000 a year or so before taxes. (I get a small percentage of sales, so naturally I've been really eager to keep things moving along, but NOTHING happens fast around here.)

Soon, I'll be starting a new business. I'll talk more about it later. Actually, I have two businesses I want to start. Part of my overall plan for world domination. (Actually, my plan is to just gain economic freedom.)

I know I can't really afford the time to watch Battlestar Gallactica, but I need a reprieve. For almost a year, I've been studying marketing and copywriting nonstop. Everyday. Several hours a day. No movies. Very little TV. No books but marketing books and newsletters. I really wanted to master the subject.

But you can only become a master by doing. Not reading. And FINALLY, I'm about to do.

Marketing as a career is an odd choice for me. For someone who started out in college to be a nuclear engineer, marketing is about as different as you can get. But I have a history of pursuing wildly different career paths. Keeps things interesting.

But it also means I've never become financially successful because I never stuck with one thing long enough to make the big bucks. A Chinese proverb goes "Man who chases two rabbits catches neither." Well, I've chased at least a dozen.

I've just been interested in too many things. Everything sounds interesting. I wish I could clone myself and command each clone to pursue a different career. Maybe then, I could accomplish great things.

But who knows? The only thing I know for sure right now is I'm starving and it's time to go home.

Sayonara.

The Stan

Nostalgic About Composing

I'm feeling nostalgic about composing today. I haven't written a damn note for almost a year and a half. And I miss it.

I've had some of my most cathartic moments writing music. There's nothing like the feeling of creating a great theme with a perfect countertheme, then combining them in one grand finale! Or creating an interesting atmospheric effect. Or combining two or more sounds for an interesting orchestral effect.

I love it. I love writing music, especially orchestral music. What can I say?

But writing music right now would violate two of my new Philosophies About Composing:

1. Don't write anything unless it's actually going to get played. (I have enough "bottom drawer" compositions already.)

2. Don't write anything unless you're getting paid...OR you're already independently wealthy. It occurs to me that I'll be 32 years old next month and I have nothing to my name: no house, no decent car...not even a video ipod. Therefore, I just can't afford to spend countless hours writing music that I will never be compensated for. It might as well be a time-sucking hobby.

But I'm not giving up on music forever. In my "Philosophy About Composing #2," I mentioned that I can't spend time writing unless I'm getting paid or am independently wealthy.

So there's my new goal: become independently wealthy so I can write again. AND...being independently wealthy means I'll be able to hire an orchestra to record anything I write!

Interaction with a live orchestra is crucial to mastering orchestration. You need feedback in order to experiment. Studying scores can only go so far. (And it's so damn tedious!) Without feedback, you can't have experimentation. Only mimicry...or speculation. But not experimentation.

So, alas. Just like the longing for a lost lover I pine for the day to write music again. But not yet...not just yet. I've got work to do.

The Stan

An Encounter With Molesto-Man

Inquiring reader wants to know about my encounter with molesto-man, so here goes.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Actually, it was a hot and sunny day in Houston, TX where my good friend Seth now lives.

But at the time, he was a PK (Pastor's Kid) in Springfield, MO and I was a 14-year-old freshman at Taft High School in San Antonio. I played Tenor Saxophone in the high school band and it was because of a band trip that I was in Houston.

One of our stops (besides Six Flags, where I would later loose my glasses on the Raptor ride) was this ginormous (see def. 4 in the Urban Dictionary) mall complete with a built-in hotel, ice rink, the works.

Even the bathrooms were huge. We're talking well over a dozen stalls.

But there was one thing about those bathrooms I will never understand: the stalls only had walls about 4 ft. high...and there was no door. So you could look down toward the back of the bathroom and see a row of a dozen men sitting on the john, taking a dump.

Well, I had to take a dump, too. And I couldn't wait for a more private opportunity. So despite my ambivalence, I joined the row of shitters.

So there I was taking care of some private business when this dude (I don't know, maybe he was about 30ish) stands RIGHT in front of me and just stares at me while I'm busy. (Keep in mind I'm 14 years old at the time.)

Well, I don't want this guy staring at me while I wipe myself, so I wait. And while I'm waiting, the stalls on either side of me become available. But this guy doesn't move in to take one of those stalls, he just keeps standing there, staring at me.

Finally, I decided to just get it over with and get the hell out of there because the place is suddenly starting to look a lot less populated than when I walked in and I sure as hell didn't want to be in there alone with this guy.

So I finish up my business and before I'm even out of the stall completely, this guy starts toward the toilet. I just keep walking past him and up to the sink to wash my hands. As I'm drying my hands, I look back down the row of stalls when I see this man looking straight at me.

Then he gives me this nod that says "Come over here." But I jet out of there and try my best to get lost in the crowded mall.

Fortunately, I never saw the guy again. And fortunately, I was never molested. But in my opinion, men who molest boys (or very young girls, for that matter) are the worst kind of sicko sexual offenders.

Those kind of offenders should never be allowed to roam free in society. Imagine what this man could have been capable of in a different setting. If he was so bold in a crowded restroom, what would have happened in a more private setting? Think God I never had to find out.

So the moral of the story is, my ass is still a virgin and I intend to keep it that way.

The Stan

Why "The Stan," The Stan?

Those who don't know me may think I made up "The Stan" to sound cool...sort of like "The Shermanator" in American Pie.

But actually, I've been called "The Stan" all my life. I guess with a last name like Stanley, you just can't avoid it.

I'm glad my parents didn't name me "Stanley." Some parents with first names as last names actually get a kick out of naming their kid the same as their last name. But fate was kind to me and I avoided being called "The Stan The Stan" and possibly getting beat up after school three times as often as I did.

Actually, I never got beat up in school. I got in fights. But I never got beat up. It's a benefit of being big. Even most bullies would leave me alone. It was usually the little ones who would run up and hit me, or flick my ear, or something. And then run away before I could do anything about it.

That lasted until I caught one of them and threw him against the lockers. I got in big trouble for that, but it was worth it. Nobody messed with me after that for a long time. At least until eighth grade when another "hit and run" kid sat behind me in history class. He was actually about my size and was kind of a dork.

Every day, he would flick my ears, poke me in the back with a pencil, or otherwise harrass me. Usually I'm a pretty amicable fellow. But after weeks of enduring his torments, I'd finally had enough. So I turned around, flipped this kid's desk over with him still sitting in it, and was on top of him at once, pounding his face in.

To the teacher, I just suddenly "exploded" for no reason and obviously needed counseling. For "no reason" I just started kicking this poor innocent kid's ass right in front of everyone.

Well, my parents knew what was going on and my dad was furious at the suggestion I go into counseling. So I never had to.

But no one ever messed with me after that.

Anyway, "The Stan" has always been a nickname no matter where I go or who I meet. I guess it's part of the cultural phenomenon, or something. Sort of like every William is called Bill. Or anyone from Texas with an obviously Texan accent is called "Tex."

(I happen to be from Texas, but for some reason I never picked up a strong accent. Maybe I'd be called "Tex" if I had. Or maybe I'd be called "Stan Tex," or something. And that's fortunate because "Stan Tex" sounds like a tampon. Yep...I'd have been beat up for that one, for sure.)

But although I've been called "The Stan" for most of my life, I never met anyone who insisted on using the definite article like Matt Bingham. For example, instead of saying "Hi, Stan," dropping the article like everyone else, Matt insists on using it. So for Matt, it's "Hi, The Stan."

It does put an original twist on an otherwise unoriginal moniker. And it stuck. It caught on with everyone I know in California. And so I became not just "Stan," but "THE Stan." And always "THE Stan."

And that's how The Stan became The Stan.

The Stan

Ode To Turkey Jerky

Turkey Jerky may be murky.
Turkey Jerky may taste quirky.
But Turkey Jerky makes me perky!

Hmmmm...What do you know! I'm a poet and don't knows it. But my "D" sure shows it...cause it's a Loooongfellow.

I know, I know. IME SOFA KING WE TALL DID.

The Stan