Fun While It Lasted...

I slammed my face into a tree today.

There I was, sitting on the ground wondering where my glasses went to, when I noticed my bike broken clean in two.

I found my glasses. They must have taken the brunt of the blow, because they were bent all out of shape.

And my face hurt.

I checked my nose. A little blood, but not too painful. I felt a dull, numb ache across my brow, on the bridge of my nose, and around my eyes. But everything was still in place.

I was lucky. All my body parts were intact. Couldn't say that about my bike.

I stood up and looked back up the steep hill I had been enjoying just moments earlier.

It sure was fun while it lasted. Unfortunately, I was going the wrong way down a one-way street when a minivan turned onto the street just ahead of me.

That's when I decided I should take the sidewalk.

But I was going way too fast. I lost control, and ended up getting up close and personal with a tree trunk. At least it had soft bark.

I'll be alright. I just may look like a raccoon for a few days.

My bike faired a lot worse than I did. I had to partially carry it, partially wheel it as best I can the mile and a half back home. I don't know if it will survive.

Take a look:

The Stan

An Age Old Question Answered

About a month ago, my life completely changed.

I made a monumental decision that will affect me for the rest of my life.

And it’s the sort of life-changing event that rarely happens in the life of men. Most men pretty much have their mind made up in this area long before casting their first vote... or even drinking their first beer.

In fact, most men go their entire lives without even giving such a change the fair consideration it deserves.

I’m talking about the age-old question of boxers vs. briefs.

Up until about a month ago, I was a brief man. I was firmly in the brief camp, and for good reason: the “package” stays all in one place. You always know where it is. No “adjustment” necessary.

It also makes it easier to hide erections. It’s much harder to “pitch a tent” when things are tucked away nice and tight.

But now I’m living the free and easy life. And I finally understand why so many men find it necessary to constantly “adjust” themselves.

Yes... I’ve decided to let the guys hang loose for a change.

Now, at first you may wonder why in the world I’d make such bold move at the ripe old age of 33.

Well, let me tell you.

Turns out that wearing briefs not only reduces your sperm count (something I’ve known a long time and never worried one iota about), but it reduces your testosterone level, too.

And low testosterone can be a root cause of weight gain, reduced libido, penile shrinkage, muscle atrophy... and man boobs.

DOH!!

So now that I know all this (and knowing is half the battle), I decided it was time to hang loose and easy for while.

No more testosterone-squelching briefs for me!

I’m liberating the guys and embracing my manhood.

Hello, world!

The Stan

The Stan's "Before" Picture

Well... since my last post was all about my quest to lose those parts of me that jiggle, I figured I should publish my "before" picture so there will be something to compare with later on.

You know... when I'm showing off my bulging, rippling muscles with my shirt off in the classic body-builder pose.

There has to be the obligatory before and after picture to prove that my amazing new exercise plan I call "The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle" actually works!

Without the proof element, who is going to buy my exciting new exercise program?

So here it is. You can see how shockingly inflated I had become. Fortunately, I'm a bit slimmer than that at the moment. But this photo was taken before I started my exciting, revolutionary, fast-acting exercise program. (See previous post for details. Videos and workbook to be released soon.)


As you can see below, Alba has become quite inflated, too!


Until next time...

The Stan

The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle

A little over two months ago, I decided enough was enough.

I was no longer going to allow myself to balloon out of control. I mean, when little kids start saying "daaaaaamn!" as I'm walking by, then I know it's time to get my weight back under control.

I don't know what I got up to because my bathroom scale is broken. (Because the batteries are dead. Just thought I would clarify that.) But I'm betting I was brushing up against 300 lbs.

So I decided to cut all sugar from my diet, cut back on most high-glycemic foods, and focus on eating more quality protein. In addition, I would start getting my fat, jiggly ass outside and moving it around as fast as I could.

That's when I discovered a wonderful, nearly heart-attack provoking exercise regimen perfect for shedding off the pounds like yesterday's underwear.

I like to call it "The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle."

Here's the simple two step plan to implementing this amazing new exercise program...

Step One: Go to Sand Dune Park in Manhattan Beach, CA.
Step Two: Hustle your fat, lazy ass up that 45 degree slope as fast as you can.

If it takes you 30 minutes to get to the top the first time out, and you nearly have a heart-attack, just be patient. You'll soon be breezing your way up in just 10 minutes flat. Don't worry about those well-oiled shirtless slabs of meat rushing all the way to the top in less than two minutes.

This is a competition with yourself.

And believe it or not it works! I've finally worked my way up to going all the way up and down two whole times! And I've lost a solid three inches off my spare tire in the process.

I'll keep you updated on my quest to become a hunk once again. I'm tired of jiggling all over the place, and pouring myself into my desk chair. I prefer being thin and sexy.

Until next time.

The Stan

The Story of How I Got Turned On To Copywriting

Yes... I'm the worst blogger ever. I know.

So I'll make it up to you by posting my personal story about how I got into marketing and copywriting....

In 2005, I was flat-broke and punching time as a bookkeeper. I was sick of it. All I knew was I wanted to get out of this stinkin’ rat race... and for good.

Then, one day as I was surfing the net, I came across a promotion for an investment newsletter. It told me I could rake in a fortune from the oil boom... that these were halcyon days for the oil industry and I could catch a piece of the action if I just responded before it was too late!

As I read the promotion, I kept edging closer and closer to the computer screen. My eyes dilated as adrenaline surged through my veins.

I read faster... and faster... and faster... until I clicked on the “order now” button to stake my claim to my share of all those oil profits!

And that proved to be a life-changing moment for me. Not because I got rich in oil profits—I didn’t even make a dime—but because I was on “the list” to receive promotions from every financial newsletter known to man.

They came in my inbox... and through the mail. I was a prime prospect—except for not having any money!

But I read most of them, anyway. And after a while I started wising up to their methods. I remember thinking to myself...

“Damn, these guys are good!”

They know exactly what emotional hot buttons to press to get me drooling all over myself, convinced I’m about to get rich tomorrow!

Then somehow, AWAI, the American Writers & Artists Institute, decided I was a prime prospect for their Six Figure Copywriting Course. To this day, I have no idea what made them decide I was a prospect.

But their promotion worked. They knew what emotional hot buttons to press, too!

That’s when it all clicked for me. That’s when I realized I wanted to learn how to be a direct response copywriter... and have the almost magical skill of persuading through the written word.

So for the next two years, I gobbled up everything I could get my hands on related to copywriting. I spent every last dime I had on books and information products. I studied successful promotions and practiced my skills in secret...

Until it was time to test them in the real world. My first sales letter—a customer acquisition letter for my girlfriend’s makeup business—generated a 2.25% response to a cold, compiled list.

Not bad, huh? Especially when many mailers report precisely a 0.00% response rate!

Later, I wrote a sales letter for an ebook that boosted conversion rates by 812%... and through testing it exploded to 1,526%!

Now, we’re talkin’!

These and other successes—plus some failures along the way—have encouraged me to continue to study, practice, and hone my skills to keep them razor-sharp. Because I’m absolutely committed to becoming a top-notch, A-level copywriter.

One day, I want my name to be uttered in the same sentence with legends such as John Carlton, Clayton Makepeace, and Gary Bencivenga.

But in the meantime, I’m helping info-marketers, seminar promoters, and brick-and-mortar businesses get more out of their marketing dollars.

[Check out my website at www.LeveragePointsMarketing.com]

--
The Stan

P.S. There's my story. This is a personal blog--not a business blog--so I'll be back to reporting juicy details of my life soon!

Back In Action

I'm the worst blogger ever, I know. Here it is months after my last post. I've had quite an "adventure" over the last few months--plenty of fodder for entertaining blog posts.

But I was too stressed out to do much blogging.

Today's post is pretty boring, though. Maybe 'cause I'm feeling lazy right now. I've got to drive up to the Sacramento area tomorrow and will be there for the rest of the week to learn how to make up to $500 per hour as a coach.

My business is s-l-o-w-l-y getting off the ground. My strategy to start out with was all wrong. So I initially gave up to go back and get a job. But my heart just wasn't in it... the sales jobs I tried sucked big nasty hairy cojones.

And I wasn't about to subject myself to 9-5 indentured servitude again.

So I went back to building my business, and after a re-structuring and making some good contacts things are now on the up and up.

I have a better strategy now--a more long-term strategy in place and I'm confident things will continue to get better.

It feels good being self employed. But the next step is to turn this freelance operation into a real business. I've got my work cut out for me, for sure.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, my laziness dictates I sign off now. Stay tuned for more entertaining posts in the future.

The Stan...

Two Weeks Notice

I submitted my two weeks notice today. I was expecting a shit-storm, but my immediate boss took it quite well. The owner took it well enough.

The fact of the matter is, I'm not an ideal employee and I'm an awful manager. I just have no interest in managing someone else's business.

But I'm really great at generating creative ideas, at writing, and at creating marketing systems (just not at managing them). And that means my skill set is more suited to be the occasional "hired gun" NOT a full-time staff member.

So starting January 1, I'll officially be unemployed...and LOVIN' IT! Not the unemployed part...the part about being an entrepreneur starting my own business.

It's the only way to true wealth.

And the great part about being a marketing consultant is that I know exactly how to market my services! It won't be long before I've landed my first client. I've got my plan all laid out.

Anyway, now that I've actually given notice, I'm relieved. Talk about a big load off. I can't tell you how nervous I was anticipating the "shit-storm," and it didn't even happen!

I think they realize it's best for the company, anyway. (I really not the ideal employee.)

The Stan

Coming Soon...FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMM!!!

Okay, time to clear out the cobwebs on my blog. Been awhile...and during that time I've endured stress, triumph, depression, more stress, hope, horror, disappointment, more triumph, more stress...you know, life as usual.

But my life is about to change dramatically REALLY soon because of a promise I made myself more than a year ago: that 2007 would be the year I start my own business. Yet here it is with December half way over and where's my business?

I've felt trapped in my job. Trapped because I felt like I needed to achieve a certain minimum level of results before moving on. Yet my boss is such a perfectionist and miser that it takes forever to get anything done. Things that needed to be done MONTHS ago. Things that have held me up from finishing important projects.

Like when he decided to save money on implementing the new software system by configuring it himself. Took 5 months to get just the first half done. We STILL haven't implemented the web store. Testing data that I needed in February was done just a month ago. Last week was the final photo shoot for photos that I needed back in March. The only reason we hired a photographer (instead of John doing it himself) is because he finally realized he didn't have the time to do it.

But I don't care anymore. Come January 1, I'm outta there. I've held up my dreams for too long waiting for things to get done. It sounds pathetic...like I'm passing blame on someone else, but I really had no control over those things that needed to be done. It was my boss's responsibility. I can't order my boss around. If he wants to do something himself, but doesn't have time to do it, what can I do?

I can decide when it's time for me to move on and start my own business once and for all. So come January 1, come hell or high water, I'll be the president of Multiplicity Marketing (web site currently in development.)

Before I leave, I'll finish up the catalog/special report at the very least. As for the rest, I don't really give a damn. My damn has already been given. I've no more damns to give.

I'm really looking forward to my freedom. I know it will come with more responsibility and an even greater need to manage my time well. But at least I'll sink or swim based on the decisions I alone make.

This is the last job I will ever have. I swore that to myself one year ago and I'm keeping it. Whatever happens, I'm an entrepreneur. I'll figure something out.

Here's to freedom!

The Stan

New Video of the L.A. Metropolitan Brass Band

This just in...a trombone feature from the Mother's Day 2006 concert. The video quality is poor--this wasn't a professional video. But it's the music that really counts, isn't it?

Once I find out the actual title and arranger of this piece, I'll post those details. In the meantime...enjoy

Back By Popular Demand!

Okay, not really. I've been on hiatus from blogging for quite awhile, though. Been busy as a one-armed paper hanger in a hurricane. In fact, I'm so far behind I've got to walk backwards just to catch up. I've got more work cut out for me than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. I've got a few more, but I digress.

The 21 Day Experiment was a success! Changed my life. Though I've gotten lazy lately ever since the power went out last week and the alarm didn't go off! Next day, I set the alarm right, and it STILL didn't go off. It was then that I realized Alba had set the time 12 hours off. So the third day, the alarm goes off, but in my half-daze I hit the snooze button and sleep in until 8:00 am.

I suppose there is daylight savings time coming up in a couple of weeks to help set me straight, but I'll have to repeat the 21 Day Experiment sooner than that.

Moving on...

The brass band is slowly coming together. November 11 should be a great concert and I expect lots of people to be there. In case you haven't heard the band, here's a "secret" video that recently came to light. Enjoy...

I Stand Corrected!

I've been helping Alba write up her marketing materials for her new business as a makeup artist, hair stylist, and threading artist. (For some of the guys out there, threading is a hair removal technique that pulls hair out by the roots.)

Alba assured me that her technique of threading, unlike at Ziba and other places that do the same thing, would ensure that the person would not experience pain, nor redness, irritation, soreness, nor infection. She's very careful about disinfecting and using a topical numbing agent.

So...using my writing and marketing skills, I created a headline for her website that read...

My Unique Threading Technique
(Of Hair Removal) Results in
NO Pain...NO Redness...NO Irritation...
NO Soreness...and NO Infection...
GUARANTEED!

Skeptical? Discover it Yourself
Completely RISK FREE!

There. I was proud of myself. I thought I was done.

But then Alba says to me, "Why don't you try the threading yourself. That way you'll know what you're talking about when you write about it."

Well...I suppose that sounds like a reasonable proposition to me. (Thoughts of Mel Gibson in pantyhose come to mind.) I reluctantly agree.

Five minutes later:

OOOOWWWWWW!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! Why do women put themselves through this????? (Images of Steve Carell having his chest waxed come to mind.)

It was definitely NOT pain-free, even with the local anesthetic. So reluctantly, I was forced to change the headline to the somewhat weaker, but more accurate

My Unique Threading Technique
(Of Hair Removal) Results in
Very Little Redness, Irritation, or Soreness and
LESS Pain Than Ziba or Other Places,
GUARANTEED!

Skeptical? Discover it Yourself
Completely RISK FREE!

Well...Life of a marketer, I suppose. Her websites and corresponding sales letters are works in progress and continually evolving. But take a look, and let me know your comments...

www.ThreadingByAlba.com
www.MakeupByAlba.com
www.HairDesignByAlba.com

The Stan

The 21 Day Experiment

In order to fully understand what I'm doing here, allow me to elaborate on my thoughts about the nature of humans.

We, as humans, are more than animals. Evolutionists would disagree, and say we're nothing more than smart monkeys. We may be smart monkeys--we're certainly a type of animal. But we're more than just smart monkeys. We're human.

And as humans, we're multi-dimensional. We're made up of different "dimensions" if you will...

There's the emotional aspect. The mental aspect. The physical aspect. The spiritual aspect...and the relational aspect.

Modern scientists may argue that at the heart of all these areas is nothing more than chemical reactions or electrical impulses in the brain.

I can't argue with that.

At a micro (or nano or pico) level, there may be nothing more than chemical reactions and electrical impulses going on. But just as our bodies are more than bags of dust and water, we're more than the sum of all the chemical reactions and electrical impulses in our bodies. It's the classic case of the sum being greater than all the component parts.

So forgive me if these dimensions are unscientific. They're not scientific descriptions, but philosophical ones, designed to help explain the various aspects of what it means to be human.

So to be a well-balanced person means to be healthy and fit in all these areas:

1. To be physically fit and healthy.
2. To be mentally engaged, alert, and aware of your surroundings.
3. To be emotionally intelligent, well-adjusted, not hindered by past failures or disappointments.
4. To be spiritually healthy (I'm still learning and exploring what exactly that means).
5. To have healthy, positive relationships with those around us.

So how do you achieve the proper balance in all those areas? In my experience, I'd find that I would be working on one to the detriment of another. And no matter how hard I tried, I failed to keep all of these areas in proper balance.

So what to do?

Time. More specifically, the management of it. I believe the classic principles of time management can help us here. To work on each of these areas takes time. And everyone is allotted 24 hours in each day, eight of which are spent sleeping (if you know what's good for you)...which means you've got 16 hours to do everything else.

That's 16 hours to take care of business (hygiene, chores, work, etc.), and work on these areas. So what if we defined particular goals in each area, and scheduled time to work on each one. Just like you were scheduling classes, or practice time (as a musician or athlete), or work schedules.

That's what I spent a great deal of time with last Sunday. I identified goals in each area and came up with a daily schedule that would help me achieve those goals by working on each of them on a daily basis.

They're part of my schedule now. Just as I used to have a regular time that I practiced my trumpet everyday, now I have a regular time that I get up for exercise; a regular time for prayer, meditation, and bible study; regular time for studying other subjects that interest me; regular time for meals; regular time to go to bed so I can get up at that regular time the next day; etc., etc.

It's not easy. Especially for a musician used to getting up anytime I damn well feel like it. In fact, I believe the only way to succeed long term is to combine all my desire, will-power, and the creation of a new self-image as the kind of person who is disciplined enough to keep all my dimensions in balance...and focus it on this 21 Day Experiment.

Just 21 Days. I'm not telling myself I'll change forever. I'm telling myself "just 21 consecutive days without interruption until it becomes habit."

In other words, for the next 21 days, I'm going to be a well-balanced person and work on being fit and healthy in every dimension of human experience. What changes will I notice? Is 21 days long enough to see much change? Will I feel adapted enough to my new life that it will become a natural habit from then on forward? Will I feel any different? Will I begin to notice myself actually becoming this new person that I imagine myself to be?

Those are some of the questions I hope to answer within the next 21 Days. Today is the fifth day of my experiment and so far so good, though last night I wound up going to bed a bit early because I was really tired.

But I do feel better. The exercise certainly feels good. I feel productive in a way. I'm exploring what it means to have a relationship with God, and I notice certain changes in my demeanor and character. I feel more patient...and confident...and at peace. I haven't had trouble getting to sleep at night, though it's butt-hard to get my ass out of bed at 6:45 am!

I'll keep you posted as this experiment unfolds...

The Stan

The Importance of Self-Image

More than a desire is needed to master not just a subject or skill, but yourself. Yes...I believe that by being a master of all those things I mentioned in my last post means you have to master yourself. To take control.

But not forceful control.

Let me explain. Often when people decide to loose weight they "force" themselves to diet or exercise. They rely on willpower alone to get the job done. This works for awhile, but eventually, we tire of forcing ourselves to do something we don't naturally want to do. I've had it happen in my life numerous times. Not just with loosing extra flab, but with other things, too.

So the answer is not merely being disciplined to the point of being able to forcefully control yourself by the power of your will. Willpower alone does not result in longterm change. Admit it to yourself. How many times have you tried to change solely on the basis of willpower? How long did it work for you?

Something more is needed for permanent change. More than mere desire. More than strong willpower.

Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics (a book I HIGHLY recommend), explains that the root of the problem is not a lack of willpower, or a lack of desire to change, but a lack of a self-image that naturally incorporates the desired behavior.

For example, if you imagine yourself as someone who has no time to exercise, you're convinced that exercise is not fun, you have better things to do with your time, that exercise is to be avoided, or that it's a necessary evil, etc. Or if you appear in your mind's eye as an overweight person and are convinced that's what you naturally look like, then you'll BE overweight.

In other words, your self image is what determines your behavior. Your behavior determines who you are. Like I said in my post about that ridiculous book, "The Secret" (didn't see the film), you are who you think you are. Maxwell Maltz illustrates this beautifully in Psycho-Cybernetics.

On the other hand, say that you view yourself as an active, involved person. The kind of person who takes care of him(her)self, who eats right, who enjoys physical activity, who is naturally thin and fit...then you'll start naturally exhibiting the kind of behavior to support that self image. No "willpower" required. You just do it because those actions are congruent with who you believe yourself to be.

So the real root of change, then, is to change your self image. I always imagined that someday I'd master all those areas I mentioned in my last post. That has been my problem all along. I hadn't created a self-image that included mastery in those areas today. Right now. Not 10 years from now. It may be too late, then.

So I've decided to try an experiment. A 21-Day experiment. Maxwell Maltz says it takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit. After 21 consecutive days of doing anything, it will suddenly feel strange not to do it.

In the past, I've pretty much focused on one goal at a time. I felt this was the only way to get things done. But I believe I've been doing myself a disservice by thinking this way. We're all multi-dimensional beings. In order to be effective and well-balanced, it's important to have multiple goals we're simultaneously working toward and be able to effectively manage them.

I'll be discussing this 21-Day experiment in my next post.

The Stan

P.S. The image above is a self portrait by the famous Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo, who was considerably more attractive than this painting suggests. (She didn't have such a pronounced "unibrow" either.) But apparently, this is how Frida viewed herself. Many people have unhealthy self-images that make them to be less beautiful, less talented, less intelligent, less emotionally stable, less wealthy, less successful (I could go on) then they should be and have a right to be.

What Does It Mean To Be Great?

Continuing from my last post:

If you were to ask me that question before last Sunday, I would have likely answered (like many would, I suppose) that being great means to be extraordinary at something.

We talk about "great actors," "great musicians," "great salesmen," "great business leaders," "great writers." I could on and on.

To be great means to be great at something. Or to stress it differently, to be great at some thing.

But I no longer believe this to be the case. And here's why...

Often, in the pursuit of "greatness" at some thing, we wind up living massively unbalanced lives. I've seen it in my life. If I'm interested in a particular topic, I'll spend months, hours every day, reading everything I can get a hold of. On the one hand, this behavior is admirable. But on the other, it leads to an imbalanced life.

I wind up neglecting my body. Not exercising. Not eating healthy. I ignore the chores around the house. I don't balance my checkbook. In fact, I'll often not even want to think about anything else but what I'm studying, or practicing, or whatever. Clearly, that's not greatness.

It must be about more than just being great at some thing.

Consider all the "great" actors, or "great" musicians, or "great" artists that have (or had) massively screwed up lives because of sex, drugs, alcohol, or some other weakness or addiction. A few examples: Robert Downey, Jr.; Chris Farley; Judy Garland; Jimi Hendrix; John Coltrane; Elvis Presley; Charlie Parker...the list goes on and on.

Consider the "great" leaders who harbored a secret life. Bill Clinton; Richard Nixon (much vilified now, but was responsible for opening China to the West); Jim Baker (former televangelist); Ken Lay (of Enron fame)...again, there are many examples.

Clearly to be great at some thing, to be recognized by others for your accomplishments, to be a business, political, or spiritual leader, to be a public figure...those things in themselves do not make one "great" in the absolute sense of the word.

So what, then, does it mean to be great?

The conclusion I came to is that greatness includes someone who has not only mastered a skill or particular subject, but has a positive and lasting influence on those around him because...

• He has his life in proper balance.
  
• Has a healthy sense of himself and his place in the world.
  
• Is emotionally intelligent and stable.
  
• Maintains his physical health and appearance.
  
• Doesn't allow himself to be a slave to weaknesses or addictions.
  
• Is ethical in all his dealings.
  
• Doesn't neglect his spiritual side.
• Improves himself in some way on a daily basis.
• Is financially stable and independent.
• Is capable of influencing and persuading others without unethical manipulation in order to achieve great things.
  

How, then, does one manage to succeed in all those areas? How many people are there that actually fit all these criteria? Is it even possible? I can only imagine how effective someone who managed to succeed in all those areas would be!

Imagine, for example, if John Coltrane, rather than being a troubled soul, had been all of those things I just mentioned. Think of what he could have done for the world of jazz! For music as a whole! Think of the lives that could have been positively influenced and inspired! This is a whole new level of greatness. Above and beyond merely being great at some thing.

I want to be all those things. But wanting alone won't get me there. I've wanted to be all those things my whole life, yet at 32, my life is as unbalanced as it ever was!

Clearly, more is needed. The desire to be better, in itself, will get you nowhere. But "forcing" yourself to "try to do better" in those areas, doesn't work, either. I'll talk more about this in the next post...

The Stan

A Lesson in Personal Change

I went absolutely nowhere this last weekend. I didn't really do much of anything, either. But it was a fantastically productive weekend because of a few hours I spent in private thought on Sunday afternoon.

What I was thinking about, and the conclusions I came to, will be the subject of the next few posts.

When I was in college, my trumpet professor had a small piece of paper tacked on the bulletin board just outside his office that read, "Without change, there can be no improvement."

I don't remember who this quote was attributed to, but it has stuck with me all these years and I'll never forget it. Without any further elaboration, it's a powerful lesson.

So simple. Yet so profound.

I believe this phrase, which I think about nearly everyday, is part of the inspiration for me to try new and different things. As Matt Bingham told me recently, "The Stan, you're a man of ventures. Everyone else, when I ask them what they've been up to, say 'Oh...you know...same 'ole, same 'ole.' But you...you're always up to something!"

I can't help it. Without change, there is no improvement. My greatest fear is stagnation. Or worse, degeneration. Only the willingness to change, to try new things, to push yourself can you hope to become a better person.

The other day, I was reading the words of Igor Ledochowski, a well-known hypnotist and corporate consultant, when I came across a sentence that immediately struck me and will be with me for years to come:

"Great people become great because they got pushed--either by circumstances or by themselves--to keep growing on a daily basis."

Wow.

Did that ever hit home! "To keep growing on a daily basis." Not only is it important to change. It's important to change on a daily basis. Otherwise, it's too easy to become stagnant. Too easy to become lazy and complacent.

So what does it mean to be a "great person?" And how, exactly, do you become one?

This is what we'll discuss in the next few posts.

The Stan

Building a Brass Band

Putting a brass band together is a HELL of a lot of work! What was I thinking? What did I think I was getting myself into?

It's like a regular part-time job. Getting 30 members together is only a small fraction of the work involved. And fortunately, I have people to help with that.

But still, it's up to me to organize the auditions, promote them online (I have people spreading the word in all the area university music departments), schedule audition times, post the information on the website, etc., etc.

I'm the webmaster, the President, the marketer and promoter, the encourager, the man with the whip when things don't get done (not that I'm heavy-handed, but I like to keep things moving.)

I'm having to find and secure the facilities for rehearsals and performances, and we're still not done. We may have to find a new facility for the Christmas concert. We'll definitely need a new rehearsal facility soon, because we need access to decent percussion equipment, and that's sadly lacking at the Torrance Salvation Army corps.

I need to find a place for percussion auditions and successfully recruit at least three percussionists to the band, which is difficult to do because percussionists whine more than anyone about wanting to get paid. Don't blame them, but still...

Our budget is roughly equivalent to a 10-year-old's piggy bank. I supplement whatever I can, but I don't make a lot of money. This is a bootstrap operation, so we have to be careful about how money gets spent. That means all marketing and promotion has to be done for free, or some other arrangement worked out.

Speaking of marketing and promotion, it's now on my shoulders to fill up a 1,481 seat hall with as many asses as will fit in there...And hopefully there are wallets with cash between those asses and the 1,481 seats. That remains to be seen.

Not that it's hopeless. Just a hell of a lot of work. And it's work that will never pay me a dime. So sometimes I ask myself why the hell am I spending all this time and effort for this?

I can only say for the sheer love of brass bands. I want to see a regular kick-ass brass band here in the L.A. area if I have to be the one to see to it. If it's me that has to be relentlessly recruiting, promoting, marketing, spieling, whatever...then so be it. There WILL be a kick-ass brass band here in the L.A. area, and it WILL be a permanent fixture here.

People will speak of the L.A. Phil, the Long Beach Municipal Band (a professional kick-ass wind ensemble), and the L.A. Metropolitan Brass Band all in the same breath.

I told myself I wouldn't get involved in any "volunteer" work until I made my fortune. But I just can't help myself. I just love music too much, and this particular dream is too dear to just let it fade away.

There are glory days ahead for the L.A. Metro Brass!

The Stan

Look What I Found!

Snagged this off an old post from Matt & Shelley's Blog. Shelley game nights used to be so much fun!
I'll never forget some of those hilarious Balderdash moments. None of us cared about points. All we wanted was to hear the next ridiculous movie plot...or people's suggestions at what certain acronyms stood for...or "interesting" definitions of unusual words.

But Shelley game nights aren't the same without Shell C. and Matt B. And most of the rest of the gang have moved out of town, too. All except me and Michelle and Mateo.

From left to right starting with Shelley in yellow: Shelley, Myev, Michelle & Mateo, Heidi, Your's Truly, and Geoff and Emily (who have been very negligent in updating their blog).

Maybe I should renew the tradition with a new generation of Balderdash nights! That would be a hell of a lot of fun!

Jehovah's Witnesses Come A Callin'

I was lying on the couch this morning, about to have my neck cracked by Alba (which feels awesome, by the way), when I heard a knock on the screen door. I thought it was my next door neighbor, Jenny, but when I turned to look toward the door, there was no one there.

Whoever it was, I was sure they didn't know us, because instead of peaking through the screen door like Jenny would have done, or remaining conspicuously in front of it, they stood off to the side so I couldn't see who was there.

Annoyed, I got up to answer the door and two men were standing there, impeccably dressed and groomed like a couple of young congressional interns.

"Does anyone here speak Spanish?" one of them asked.

Yep...they're promoting some political agenda, I thought.

"Well...Alba does--" and I turn around hoping to pawn them off on Alba so I wouldn't have to be the rude one and shoo them away.

But Alba was quick on the uptake: "I'll be in the shower," she said, and hurried to the bathroom.

Unfazed, the man on the left continued: "Well, we're here with the Jehovah's Witnesses...." and he continued into his spiel about cars and engineers and how engineers are the best people to tell you about the cars, and blah, blah, blah.

Dammit, I should have known. Their blue shirts fooled me. They were in disguise. Not the usual arm-length, button-up white shirts and ties. These were blue. I could see now the black Bibles in their left hands, and a few tracts sticking out of one of the outside pockets.

For a moment, I was worried he would pull one out and start talking about a cartoon drawing with lions laying in fields and people building a house in the background, while others were harvesting a crop. "Doesn't that look idealic?" he would say. And "Wouldn't you like to live like this?"

Then I would be forced to say "Hell, no! That looks like too much work to me! Who wants to spend eternity tilling the fields and building log cabins?" But he didn't pull out a tract. He went on talking about how if God was the engineer of us, then wouldn't he be the best person to tell us everything we need to know about ourselves?

Meanwhile, I'm holding the screen door open, and several flies were taking full advantage of the situation and making a bee line for the kitchen counter and the remains of my breakfast salad, and the only thing I can think of is how the hell can I get rid of these guys without being overly rude?

Why am I so damn polite? They interrupted my day, not the other way around!

Well, I couldn't let this go on long, and by this time, the guy was trying to indoctrinate me about how God told us we would live forever right here on this earth. Don't know how that would happen, but the last thing I wanted to do was have a philosophical argument with an indoctrinated Jehovah's Witness.

So I simply said, "Well, I've read the Bible and I know what it says, and I'm not really interested in anything you have to offer."

They were polite. One was the talker, the other the listener. Maybe he was a trainee, and the talker was showing him the ropes. But they left and proceeded to try and convert Jenny next door.

When Alba got out of the shower, she told me the story of Adriana upstairs, who's from Columbia and bi-lingual. When the Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on her door one time, she tried to fake them out:

"Lo siento, pero no hablo Engles! Yo no hablo Engles!"

Well, the Jehovah's Gringo was prepared: "Oh, okay. Soy de Jehovah's Witness y...."

Man, they're prepared for everything these days. Maybe I'll make up some language next time to fool them:

"Blo hopper be dop dang row. Be bop yo bam. He-n-do-bop." And I'll just keep talking in scat, looking confused, until they give up and walk away!

Drum Corps International...

Sometimes I think I should allow my blog entries to "age" a day or so before I post them. Yesterday's seems just a little bit pathetic in retrospect.

I certainly had no right to feel anything about hearing of Marci getting married and having a baby. But we have no control our gut reactions. We have limited control over our emotions. It's the choices we make, however, that we have complete control over.

I'm reasonably happy with all the decisions that have led me to where I am today. I've lived my life--for the most part--with a clear conscience. And although I have a few lingering regrets, it's not in my nature to dwell on them or allow myself to become embittered by them.

Life's too short. And life does move on.

I'm happy to report that the "knot in my stomach" is no longer bothering me. Maybe it was because I talked to my friend Sal about this yesterday. Sal is a year older than I am and has probably dated more women than I've ever even met in my entire life!

As the dating expert--certainly no relationship expert--he informs me that I committed one of the cardinal sins of dating: never get back in contact with an ex.

Silly me...I didn't know that rule.

But then I can't even claim Marci as an ex. It's a special case. We merely had an unclassifiable long distance..."thing"...that never really developed into a real relationship. My decision to "end" it was the right one, I'm sure. Which makes yesterday's post and my gut reactions all the more silly in retrospect.

Whatever. Time for me to stop being a girl about this thing.

Anyway, in other news...

I went to the DCI (Drum Corps International) Quarterfinals at the Rose Bowl yesterday. I've never seen a drum & bugle corps perform live so I was looking forward to seeing some of the best corps in the world perform. It was a LONG show and at first I was disappointed. But then I noticed that each corps seemed to outperform the one before it. They kept getting better and better so that by the time the last third of the 8 hour show rolled around, each band was spectacular.

The most memorable were the Vanguard from Santa Clarita, CA (just up the 5 freeway from L.A.), Caroline Crown, and of course, the Blue Devils from Concord, CA (which is up in the bay area.) One band--can't remember which--did a great show based on Stravinsky's Firebird. Another did Shostokovich's Scherzo, from one of his symphonies (can't remember which).

The better bands could really produce the sound and fill up the stadium with just 50-60 brass musicians. Amazing. Of course, actually being in tune really helps you out with that. You don't have to work as hard.

All in all a great show.

Then it was off to Hooters under the presumption that we were there for beer and appetizers.

Fortunes and Old Friends

Okay...time to post again. I've written up a "travel log" of my day trip last Sunday, but I'm not going to post that just yet.

I'm in kind of a strange mood today.

Two weeks ago, I opened a fortune cookie that read "you will reconnect with someone from your past." I never take stock in fast-food fortunes, and I usually forget them shortly afterward. But for some reason this one stuck in my mind.

Perhaps it was a real fortune this time, unlike all those other times where I was promised wealth, and success, and far away travels, and prestige, and great honors, etc. I guess they're allowed to get it right every now and then...

Because as it turns out, in the last two weeks, I've reconnected with several people I haven't seen or heard from in years. Partly because of MySpace. And partly just...who knows....Just out the blue, people calling me or emailing me.

For example, just the other day, my long lost cousin Michelle "You talkin' to me" Baker calls me on my cell phone. I was convinced it was my sister and I was surprised to actually have my sister call me. But I was even more surprised when I realized it was Michelle! It's uncanny how much they sound alike.

Michelle lives in San Antonio, has a dog, works in a bank as a fraud detector, owns her own house, has blond hair now instead of brown, and is still single but seriously dating a guy named Dave.

On MySpace, during my year and a half hiatus, I had been contacted by several "long lost" friends and acquaintances, including a good friend of mine who goes all the way back to our dorky high school days.

Andy is married now, to a woman 13 years his senior (though quite attractive), still into martial arts, and...I don't know much else because he hasn't replied to my reply yet. This is the guy who taught me scuba diving.

Then there is the friend from "back home"--I suppose there are several "back homes" for me, but this one happens to be Springfarm, MO. Can I say "Springfarm?" For some reason I feel I can't call it that if I don't live there any more. Like it somehow becomes less "affectionate," and more "derogatory," even though I used to say that all the time, my tone dripping with derogatoriness. (I love making up words!) Perhaps by moving away, I've given up the right to insult Springfield.

Anyway, I get this email out of the blue from a friend I haven't heard from in years, who happens to be the mother of a girl I used to be crazy about. Almost literally crazy. And after talking to her over the phone I find out that this girl I used to be crazy about is married and about to have a little girl.

I try very hard to take the news nonchalantly. "Really? Good for her." But at the same time, there's this knot in my stomach and I feel...Jealous?...Broken hearted?...Betrayed?...I don't know. I have no idea what I'm feeling, I've just got this knot in my stomach. (Maybe it was just gas?)

Anyway, life moves on.

Then yesterday, I found out about this cool feature on MySpace that will read your Gmail address book to search for friends who have a MySpace page registered. There was a whole slew of names, including Rita--the mother of the girl I was crazy about--who had just emailed me last week.

So I check out her MySpace page, and right there in her top eight is Mrs. Sherman, a.k.a. "The girl I used to be crazy about." Click Mrs. Sherman, check out her photos...knot comes back. Damn.

I thought I got rid of that knot over three frickin' years ago. Anyway, I didn't want to be a cyber stalker, so I figured I should at least send her quick note to congratulate her on her wedding and upcoming child.

So I go home, sit down for dinner with Alba. Bam--phone rings. Mrs. Sherman. Awkward moment.

Not sure what to say...Alba's sitting right there...I'm wondering how she got my number, though I suppose it's no great secret...more awkwardness--I can't even remember what I said, but it was a short conversation.

But that damned knot is right there! It was there all last night. This morning. And as I write this post this very moment.

But...life moves on.

The Stan