The Dark Before The Dawn

A quick word of warning... this is a pretty raw post. I'm feeling the frustration right now and I need to express it.

Starting your own business can be one HELL of a roller coaster ride. In the course of a day you can go from excitement to despair to hope to excitement to exhilaration back to despair.

Anything and everything is possible. And one thing is for SURE: it is HARD... AS... HELL.

Not that I'm complaining. I chose to do this. I'm committed to making it happen. It's been 7 months, and although things are looking up, I have yet to get caught up on the mountain of bills, which keep growing.

I feel I'm always just behind on everything critical and WAY behind on everything else.

This is one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

Alba and I constantly fight about money. There's always bills coming in. It seems like I'm always waiting for a check to arrive. I'm constantly paying overdraft charges on my bank account.

Frankly, the money situation sucks. Certainly not what I'd hoped for by now.

But again... I'm not complaining. I chose to do this. I'm committed to making it happen.

I know I will be successful. I feel it. I have the knowledge. I'm taking the actions. I'm (slowly) changing my mindset.

It's just that sometimes success seems like it's just beyond my reach. It's like I can see it. I can feel it. I know it's right there. I can even taste it. But I just can't quite reach it.

You can imagine the frustration I feel sometimes.

I've been pursuing success for the last two and a half years... although I suppose it's only been since I took the plunge and started my own business that I can really count that as progress.

Before then, I was just learning and wishing. Now I'm actually taking action.

But it's not a linear progress. It's like taking two steps forward, then two steps back, then a full step forward and a half step back. You get the idea.

Progress... but at a snail's pace.

But God knows I will never give up until I reach my goal of $50,000 per month in income.

That's almost 50 times what I made last month. But I know it's possible. Others are doing it. And that's all the encouragement I need.

I will persevere... I will continue plowing ahead... I will do whatever it takes... to break through this invisible wall.

Because just beyond is the fulfillment of all my dreams. And how can I give up when I'm so damn close?

They say it's always darkest just before the dawn.

And I can see the day breaking already...

The Stan

Caught Red-Handed

Once when I was a kid, I meandered into the living room where my Dad was sitting in his favorite recliner watching TV.

Something immediately caught my eye. I noticed Dad had white powder sprinkled all over the front of his shirt. I recognized it immediately. And I wanted some.

"Oh! I want some powdered donuts!"

"We don't have any powdered donuts," he replied dismissively. Apparently, he was oblivious to the half kilo of evidence clinging to his chest.

"But you have powdered sugar all over your shirt!" His brows furrowed and he frowned as he looked down at the incriminating dust.

He quickly brushed it off, leaving faint white streaks in the cotton fibers of his T-shirt. "We don't have any powdered donuts," he repeated.

I continued my protest as he tried to go back to watching television. But I wouldn't have it. I wanted some powdered donuts, and the evidence of their existence was right there in front of me.

Finally, he relented. "I ate all of them. There ain't none left."

Disappointed, I went back to my room.

Fun While It Lasted...

I slammed my face into a tree today.

There I was, sitting on the ground wondering where my glasses went to, when I noticed my bike broken clean in two.

I found my glasses. They must have taken the brunt of the blow, because they were bent all out of shape.

And my face hurt.

I checked my nose. A little blood, but not too painful. I felt a dull, numb ache across my brow, on the bridge of my nose, and around my eyes. But everything was still in place.

I was lucky. All my body parts were intact. Couldn't say that about my bike.

I stood up and looked back up the steep hill I had been enjoying just moments earlier.

It sure was fun while it lasted. Unfortunately, I was going the wrong way down a one-way street when a minivan turned onto the street just ahead of me.

That's when I decided I should take the sidewalk.

But I was going way too fast. I lost control, and ended up getting up close and personal with a tree trunk. At least it had soft bark.

I'll be alright. I just may look like a raccoon for a few days.

My bike faired a lot worse than I did. I had to partially carry it, partially wheel it as best I can the mile and a half back home. I don't know if it will survive.

Take a look:

The Stan

An Age Old Question Answered

About a month ago, my life completely changed.

I made a monumental decision that will affect me for the rest of my life.

And it’s the sort of life-changing event that rarely happens in the life of men. Most men pretty much have their mind made up in this area long before casting their first vote... or even drinking their first beer.

In fact, most men go their entire lives without even giving such a change the fair consideration it deserves.

I’m talking about the age-old question of boxers vs. briefs.

Up until about a month ago, I was a brief man. I was firmly in the brief camp, and for good reason: the “package” stays all in one place. You always know where it is. No “adjustment” necessary.

It also makes it easier to hide erections. It’s much harder to “pitch a tent” when things are tucked away nice and tight.

But now I’m living the free and easy life. And I finally understand why so many men find it necessary to constantly “adjust” themselves.

Yes... I’ve decided to let the guys hang loose for a change.

Now, at first you may wonder why in the world I’d make such bold move at the ripe old age of 33.

Well, let me tell you.

Turns out that wearing briefs not only reduces your sperm count (something I’ve known a long time and never worried one iota about), but it reduces your testosterone level, too.

And low testosterone can be a root cause of weight gain, reduced libido, penile shrinkage, muscle atrophy... and man boobs.

DOH!!

So now that I know all this (and knowing is half the battle), I decided it was time to hang loose and easy for while.

No more testosterone-squelching briefs for me!

I’m liberating the guys and embracing my manhood.

Hello, world!

The Stan

The Stan's "Before" Picture

Well... since my last post was all about my quest to lose those parts of me that jiggle, I figured I should publish my "before" picture so there will be something to compare with later on.

You know... when I'm showing off my bulging, rippling muscles with my shirt off in the classic body-builder pose.

There has to be the obligatory before and after picture to prove that my amazing new exercise plan I call "The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle" actually works!

Without the proof element, who is going to buy my exciting new exercise program?

So here it is. You can see how shockingly inflated I had become. Fortunately, I'm a bit slimmer than that at the moment. But this photo was taken before I started my exciting, revolutionary, fast-acting exercise program. (See previous post for details. Videos and workbook to be released soon.)


As you can see below, Alba has become quite inflated, too!


Until next time...

The Stan

The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle

A little over two months ago, I decided enough was enough.

I was no longer going to allow myself to balloon out of control. I mean, when little kids start saying "daaaaaamn!" as I'm walking by, then I know it's time to get my weight back under control.

I don't know what I got up to because my bathroom scale is broken. (Because the batteries are dead. Just thought I would clarify that.) But I'm betting I was brushing up against 300 lbs.

So I decided to cut all sugar from my diet, cut back on most high-glycemic foods, and focus on eating more quality protein. In addition, I would start getting my fat, jiggly ass outside and moving it around as fast as I could.

That's when I discovered a wonderful, nearly heart-attack provoking exercise regimen perfect for shedding off the pounds like yesterday's underwear.

I like to call it "The Stan's Sand Dune Hustle."

Here's the simple two step plan to implementing this amazing new exercise program...

Step One: Go to Sand Dune Park in Manhattan Beach, CA.
Step Two: Hustle your fat, lazy ass up that 45 degree slope as fast as you can.

If it takes you 30 minutes to get to the top the first time out, and you nearly have a heart-attack, just be patient. You'll soon be breezing your way up in just 10 minutes flat. Don't worry about those well-oiled shirtless slabs of meat rushing all the way to the top in less than two minutes.

This is a competition with yourself.

And believe it or not it works! I've finally worked my way up to going all the way up and down two whole times! And I've lost a solid three inches off my spare tire in the process.

I'll keep you updated on my quest to become a hunk once again. I'm tired of jiggling all over the place, and pouring myself into my desk chair. I prefer being thin and sexy.

Until next time.

The Stan

The Story of How I Got Turned On To Copywriting

Yes... I'm the worst blogger ever. I know.

So I'll make it up to you by posting my personal story about how I got into marketing and copywriting....

In 2005, I was flat-broke and punching time as a bookkeeper. I was sick of it. All I knew was I wanted to get out of this stinkin’ rat race... and for good.

Then, one day as I was surfing the net, I came across a promotion for an investment newsletter. It told me I could rake in a fortune from the oil boom... that these were halcyon days for the oil industry and I could catch a piece of the action if I just responded before it was too late!

As I read the promotion, I kept edging closer and closer to the computer screen. My eyes dilated as adrenaline surged through my veins.

I read faster... and faster... and faster... until I clicked on the “order now” button to stake my claim to my share of all those oil profits!

And that proved to be a life-changing moment for me. Not because I got rich in oil profits—I didn’t even make a dime—but because I was on “the list” to receive promotions from every financial newsletter known to man.

They came in my inbox... and through the mail. I was a prime prospect—except for not having any money!

But I read most of them, anyway. And after a while I started wising up to their methods. I remember thinking to myself...

“Damn, these guys are good!”

They know exactly what emotional hot buttons to press to get me drooling all over myself, convinced I’m about to get rich tomorrow!

Then somehow, AWAI, the American Writers & Artists Institute, decided I was a prime prospect for their Six Figure Copywriting Course. To this day, I have no idea what made them decide I was a prospect.

But their promotion worked. They knew what emotional hot buttons to press, too!

That’s when it all clicked for me. That’s when I realized I wanted to learn how to be a direct response copywriter... and have the almost magical skill of persuading through the written word.

So for the next two years, I gobbled up everything I could get my hands on related to copywriting. I spent every last dime I had on books and information products. I studied successful promotions and practiced my skills in secret...

Until it was time to test them in the real world. My first sales letter—a customer acquisition letter for my girlfriend’s makeup business—generated a 2.25% response to a cold, compiled list.

Not bad, huh? Especially when many mailers report precisely a 0.00% response rate!

Later, I wrote a sales letter for an ebook that boosted conversion rates by 812%... and through testing it exploded to 1,526%!

Now, we’re talkin’!

These and other successes—plus some failures along the way—have encouraged me to continue to study, practice, and hone my skills to keep them razor-sharp. Because I’m absolutely committed to becoming a top-notch, A-level copywriter.

One day, I want my name to be uttered in the same sentence with legends such as John Carlton, Clayton Makepeace, and Gary Bencivenga.

But in the meantime, I’m helping info-marketers, seminar promoters, and brick-and-mortar businesses get more out of their marketing dollars.

[Check out my website at www.LeveragePointsMarketing.com]

--
The Stan

P.S. There's my story. This is a personal blog--not a business blog--so I'll be back to reporting juicy details of my life soon!

Back In Action

I'm the worst blogger ever, I know. Here it is months after my last post. I've had quite an "adventure" over the last few months--plenty of fodder for entertaining blog posts.

But I was too stressed out to do much blogging.

Today's post is pretty boring, though. Maybe 'cause I'm feeling lazy right now. I've got to drive up to the Sacramento area tomorrow and will be there for the rest of the week to learn how to make up to $500 per hour as a coach.

My business is s-l-o-w-l-y getting off the ground. My strategy to start out with was all wrong. So I initially gave up to go back and get a job. But my heart just wasn't in it... the sales jobs I tried sucked big nasty hairy cojones.

And I wasn't about to subject myself to 9-5 indentured servitude again.

So I went back to building my business, and after a re-structuring and making some good contacts things are now on the up and up.

I have a better strategy now--a more long-term strategy in place and I'm confident things will continue to get better.

It feels good being self employed. But the next step is to turn this freelance operation into a real business. I've got my work cut out for me, for sure.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, my laziness dictates I sign off now. Stay tuned for more entertaining posts in the future.

The Stan...

Two Weeks Notice

I submitted my two weeks notice today. I was expecting a shit-storm, but my immediate boss took it quite well. The owner took it well enough.

The fact of the matter is, I'm not an ideal employee and I'm an awful manager. I just have no interest in managing someone else's business.

But I'm really great at generating creative ideas, at writing, and at creating marketing systems (just not at managing them). And that means my skill set is more suited to be the occasional "hired gun" NOT a full-time staff member.

So starting January 1, I'll officially be unemployed...and LOVIN' IT! Not the unemployed part...the part about being an entrepreneur starting my own business.

It's the only way to true wealth.

And the great part about being a marketing consultant is that I know exactly how to market my services! It won't be long before I've landed my first client. I've got my plan all laid out.

Anyway, now that I've actually given notice, I'm relieved. Talk about a big load off. I can't tell you how nervous I was anticipating the "shit-storm," and it didn't even happen!

I think they realize it's best for the company, anyway. (I really not the ideal employee.)

The Stan

Coming Soon...FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMM!!!

Okay, time to clear out the cobwebs on my blog. Been awhile...and during that time I've endured stress, triumph, depression, more stress, hope, horror, disappointment, more triumph, more stress...you know, life as usual.

But my life is about to change dramatically REALLY soon because of a promise I made myself more than a year ago: that 2007 would be the year I start my own business. Yet here it is with December half way over and where's my business?

I've felt trapped in my job. Trapped because I felt like I needed to achieve a certain minimum level of results before moving on. Yet my boss is such a perfectionist and miser that it takes forever to get anything done. Things that needed to be done MONTHS ago. Things that have held me up from finishing important projects.

Like when he decided to save money on implementing the new software system by configuring it himself. Took 5 months to get just the first half done. We STILL haven't implemented the web store. Testing data that I needed in February was done just a month ago. Last week was the final photo shoot for photos that I needed back in March. The only reason we hired a photographer (instead of John doing it himself) is because he finally realized he didn't have the time to do it.

But I don't care anymore. Come January 1, I'm outta there. I've held up my dreams for too long waiting for things to get done. It sounds pathetic...like I'm passing blame on someone else, but I really had no control over those things that needed to be done. It was my boss's responsibility. I can't order my boss around. If he wants to do something himself, but doesn't have time to do it, what can I do?

I can decide when it's time for me to move on and start my own business once and for all. So come January 1, come hell or high water, I'll be the president of Multiplicity Marketing (web site currently in development.)

Before I leave, I'll finish up the catalog/special report at the very least. As for the rest, I don't really give a damn. My damn has already been given. I've no more damns to give.

I'm really looking forward to my freedom. I know it will come with more responsibility and an even greater need to manage my time well. But at least I'll sink or swim based on the decisions I alone make.

This is the last job I will ever have. I swore that to myself one year ago and I'm keeping it. Whatever happens, I'm an entrepreneur. I'll figure something out.

Here's to freedom!

The Stan

Barbarians at the Gate

Enjoy, my friends....

New Video of the L.A. Metropolitan Brass Band

This just in...a trombone feature from the Mother's Day 2006 concert. The video quality is poor--this wasn't a professional video. But it's the music that really counts, isn't it?

Once I find out the actual title and arranger of this piece, I'll post those details. In the meantime...enjoy

Back By Popular Demand!

Okay, not really. I've been on hiatus from blogging for quite awhile, though. Been busy as a one-armed paper hanger in a hurricane. In fact, I'm so far behind I've got to walk backwards just to catch up. I've got more work cut out for me than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. I've got a few more, but I digress.

The 21 Day Experiment was a success! Changed my life. Though I've gotten lazy lately ever since the power went out last week and the alarm didn't go off! Next day, I set the alarm right, and it STILL didn't go off. It was then that I realized Alba had set the time 12 hours off. So the third day, the alarm goes off, but in my half-daze I hit the snooze button and sleep in until 8:00 am.

I suppose there is daylight savings time coming up in a couple of weeks to help set me straight, but I'll have to repeat the 21 Day Experiment sooner than that.

Moving on...

The brass band is slowly coming together. November 11 should be a great concert and I expect lots of people to be there. In case you haven't heard the band, here's a "secret" video that recently came to light. Enjoy...

The Stan Gets Political

A man walked into a very high-tech restaurant in a fancy hotel. As he waited to be seated, he noticed that the Maitre D' was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and said, "Sir, there is a one hour wait. And I am programmed to converse with you until a table is ready, If you please."

Intrigued, the man said, "OK."

The robot clicked a couple more times and then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered, "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, interstellar space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc.

The man was most impressed. The next day he returned, But thought he would try a different tack.

The robot again asked, "What is your IQ, sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh, about 100".

So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Red Sox to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So the next day he returned.

Again the robot asked the question, "What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out,....'bout 50."

The robot clicked, then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e

y-o-u-r

p-e-o-p-l-e

g-o-i-n-g t-o

n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e

H-i-l-l-a-r-y?"



The Stan ;)

P.S. Wasn't that "Hillaryous?"

Little Jimmy's Letter From Camp

Dear Mom & Dad:

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed
away.

Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast.

I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.

Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left.

Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24.

He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It was great.

You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets.

He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see just how a tourniquet works.

Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison.

I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some more beer and ammo.

Don't worry about anything.

Love,

Jimmy

(The Stan's Note: I got this in my inbox from my Dad and thought it was hilarious!)

I Stand Corrected!

I've been helping Alba write up her marketing materials for her new business as a makeup artist, hair stylist, and threading artist. (For some of the guys out there, threading is a hair removal technique that pulls hair out by the roots.)

Alba assured me that her technique of threading, unlike at Ziba and other places that do the same thing, would ensure that the person would not experience pain, nor redness, irritation, soreness, nor infection. She's very careful about disinfecting and using a topical numbing agent.

So...using my writing and marketing skills, I created a headline for her website that read...

My Unique Threading Technique
(Of Hair Removal) Results in
NO Pain...NO Redness...NO Irritation...
NO Soreness...and NO Infection...
GUARANTEED!

Skeptical? Discover it Yourself
Completely RISK FREE!

There. I was proud of myself. I thought I was done.

But then Alba says to me, "Why don't you try the threading yourself. That way you'll know what you're talking about when you write about it."

Well...I suppose that sounds like a reasonable proposition to me. (Thoughts of Mel Gibson in pantyhose come to mind.) I reluctantly agree.

Five minutes later:

OOOOWWWWWW!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! Why do women put themselves through this????? (Images of Steve Carell having his chest waxed come to mind.)

It was definitely NOT pain-free, even with the local anesthetic. So reluctantly, I was forced to change the headline to the somewhat weaker, but more accurate

My Unique Threading Technique
(Of Hair Removal) Results in
Very Little Redness, Irritation, or Soreness and
LESS Pain Than Ziba or Other Places,
GUARANTEED!

Skeptical? Discover it Yourself
Completely RISK FREE!

Well...Life of a marketer, I suppose. Her websites and corresponding sales letters are works in progress and continually evolving. But take a look, and let me know your comments...

www.ThreadingByAlba.com
www.MakeupByAlba.com
www.HairDesignByAlba.com

The Stan

The 21 Day Experiment

In order to fully understand what I'm doing here, allow me to elaborate on my thoughts about the nature of humans.

We, as humans, are more than animals. Evolutionists would disagree, and say we're nothing more than smart monkeys. We may be smart monkeys--we're certainly a type of animal. But we're more than just smart monkeys. We're human.

And as humans, we're multi-dimensional. We're made up of different "dimensions" if you will...

There's the emotional aspect. The mental aspect. The physical aspect. The spiritual aspect...and the relational aspect.

Modern scientists may argue that at the heart of all these areas is nothing more than chemical reactions or electrical impulses in the brain.

I can't argue with that.

At a micro (or nano or pico) level, there may be nothing more than chemical reactions and electrical impulses going on. But just as our bodies are more than bags of dust and water, we're more than the sum of all the chemical reactions and electrical impulses in our bodies. It's the classic case of the sum being greater than all the component parts.

So forgive me if these dimensions are unscientific. They're not scientific descriptions, but philosophical ones, designed to help explain the various aspects of what it means to be human.

So to be a well-balanced person means to be healthy and fit in all these areas:

1. To be physically fit and healthy.
2. To be mentally engaged, alert, and aware of your surroundings.
3. To be emotionally intelligent, well-adjusted, not hindered by past failures or disappointments.
4. To be spiritually healthy (I'm still learning and exploring what exactly that means).
5. To have healthy, positive relationships with those around us.

So how do you achieve the proper balance in all those areas? In my experience, I'd find that I would be working on one to the detriment of another. And no matter how hard I tried, I failed to keep all of these areas in proper balance.

So what to do?

Time. More specifically, the management of it. I believe the classic principles of time management can help us here. To work on each of these areas takes time. And everyone is allotted 24 hours in each day, eight of which are spent sleeping (if you know what's good for you)...which means you've got 16 hours to do everything else.

That's 16 hours to take care of business (hygiene, chores, work, etc.), and work on these areas. So what if we defined particular goals in each area, and scheduled time to work on each one. Just like you were scheduling classes, or practice time (as a musician or athlete), or work schedules.

That's what I spent a great deal of time with last Sunday. I identified goals in each area and came up with a daily schedule that would help me achieve those goals by working on each of them on a daily basis.

They're part of my schedule now. Just as I used to have a regular time that I practiced my trumpet everyday, now I have a regular time that I get up for exercise; a regular time for prayer, meditation, and bible study; regular time for studying other subjects that interest me; regular time for meals; regular time to go to bed so I can get up at that regular time the next day; etc., etc.

It's not easy. Especially for a musician used to getting up anytime I damn well feel like it. In fact, I believe the only way to succeed long term is to combine all my desire, will-power, and the creation of a new self-image as the kind of person who is disciplined enough to keep all my dimensions in balance...and focus it on this 21 Day Experiment.

Just 21 Days. I'm not telling myself I'll change forever. I'm telling myself "just 21 consecutive days without interruption until it becomes habit."

In other words, for the next 21 days, I'm going to be a well-balanced person and work on being fit and healthy in every dimension of human experience. What changes will I notice? Is 21 days long enough to see much change? Will I feel adapted enough to my new life that it will become a natural habit from then on forward? Will I feel any different? Will I begin to notice myself actually becoming this new person that I imagine myself to be?

Those are some of the questions I hope to answer within the next 21 Days. Today is the fifth day of my experiment and so far so good, though last night I wound up going to bed a bit early because I was really tired.

But I do feel better. The exercise certainly feels good. I feel productive in a way. I'm exploring what it means to have a relationship with God, and I notice certain changes in my demeanor and character. I feel more patient...and confident...and at peace. I haven't had trouble getting to sleep at night, though it's butt-hard to get my ass out of bed at 6:45 am!

I'll keep you posted as this experiment unfolds...

The Stan

The Importance of Self-Image

More than a desire is needed to master not just a subject or skill, but yourself. Yes...I believe that by being a master of all those things I mentioned in my last post means you have to master yourself. To take control.

But not forceful control.

Let me explain. Often when people decide to loose weight they "force" themselves to diet or exercise. They rely on willpower alone to get the job done. This works for awhile, but eventually, we tire of forcing ourselves to do something we don't naturally want to do. I've had it happen in my life numerous times. Not just with loosing extra flab, but with other things, too.

So the answer is not merely being disciplined to the point of being able to forcefully control yourself by the power of your will. Willpower alone does not result in longterm change. Admit it to yourself. How many times have you tried to change solely on the basis of willpower? How long did it work for you?

Something more is needed for permanent change. More than mere desire. More than strong willpower.

Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics (a book I HIGHLY recommend), explains that the root of the problem is not a lack of willpower, or a lack of desire to change, but a lack of a self-image that naturally incorporates the desired behavior.

For example, if you imagine yourself as someone who has no time to exercise, you're convinced that exercise is not fun, you have better things to do with your time, that exercise is to be avoided, or that it's a necessary evil, etc. Or if you appear in your mind's eye as an overweight person and are convinced that's what you naturally look like, then you'll BE overweight.

In other words, your self image is what determines your behavior. Your behavior determines who you are. Like I said in my post about that ridiculous book, "The Secret" (didn't see the film), you are who you think you are. Maxwell Maltz illustrates this beautifully in Psycho-Cybernetics.

On the other hand, say that you view yourself as an active, involved person. The kind of person who takes care of him(her)self, who eats right, who enjoys physical activity, who is naturally thin and fit...then you'll start naturally exhibiting the kind of behavior to support that self image. No "willpower" required. You just do it because those actions are congruent with who you believe yourself to be.

So the real root of change, then, is to change your self image. I always imagined that someday I'd master all those areas I mentioned in my last post. That has been my problem all along. I hadn't created a self-image that included mastery in those areas today. Right now. Not 10 years from now. It may be too late, then.

So I've decided to try an experiment. A 21-Day experiment. Maxwell Maltz says it takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit. After 21 consecutive days of doing anything, it will suddenly feel strange not to do it.

In the past, I've pretty much focused on one goal at a time. I felt this was the only way to get things done. But I believe I've been doing myself a disservice by thinking this way. We're all multi-dimensional beings. In order to be effective and well-balanced, it's important to have multiple goals we're simultaneously working toward and be able to effectively manage them.

I'll be discussing this 21-Day experiment in my next post.

The Stan

P.S. The image above is a self portrait by the famous Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo, who was considerably more attractive than this painting suggests. (She didn't have such a pronounced "unibrow" either.) But apparently, this is how Frida viewed herself. Many people have unhealthy self-images that make them to be less beautiful, less talented, less intelligent, less emotionally stable, less wealthy, less successful (I could go on) then they should be and have a right to be.

What Does It Mean To Be Great?

Continuing from my last post:

If you were to ask me that question before last Sunday, I would have likely answered (like many would, I suppose) that being great means to be extraordinary at something.

We talk about "great actors," "great musicians," "great salesmen," "great business leaders," "great writers." I could on and on.

To be great means to be great at something. Or to stress it differently, to be great at some thing.

But I no longer believe this to be the case. And here's why...

Often, in the pursuit of "greatness" at some thing, we wind up living massively unbalanced lives. I've seen it in my life. If I'm interested in a particular topic, I'll spend months, hours every day, reading everything I can get a hold of. On the one hand, this behavior is admirable. But on the other, it leads to an imbalanced life.

I wind up neglecting my body. Not exercising. Not eating healthy. I ignore the chores around the house. I don't balance my checkbook. In fact, I'll often not even want to think about anything else but what I'm studying, or practicing, or whatever. Clearly, that's not greatness.

It must be about more than just being great at some thing.

Consider all the "great" actors, or "great" musicians, or "great" artists that have (or had) massively screwed up lives because of sex, drugs, alcohol, or some other weakness or addiction. A few examples: Robert Downey, Jr.; Chris Farley; Judy Garland; Jimi Hendrix; John Coltrane; Elvis Presley; Charlie Parker...the list goes on and on.

Consider the "great" leaders who harbored a secret life. Bill Clinton; Richard Nixon (much vilified now, but was responsible for opening China to the West); Jim Baker (former televangelist); Ken Lay (of Enron fame)...again, there are many examples.

Clearly to be great at some thing, to be recognized by others for your accomplishments, to be a business, political, or spiritual leader, to be a public figure...those things in themselves do not make one "great" in the absolute sense of the word.

So what, then, does it mean to be great?

The conclusion I came to is that greatness includes someone who has not only mastered a skill or particular subject, but has a positive and lasting influence on those around him because...

• He has his life in proper balance.
  
• Has a healthy sense of himself and his place in the world.
  
• Is emotionally intelligent and stable.
  
• Maintains his physical health and appearance.
  
• Doesn't allow himself to be a slave to weaknesses or addictions.
  
• Is ethical in all his dealings.
  
• Doesn't neglect his spiritual side.
• Improves himself in some way on a daily basis.
• Is financially stable and independent.
• Is capable of influencing and persuading others without unethical manipulation in order to achieve great things.
  

How, then, does one manage to succeed in all those areas? How many people are there that actually fit all these criteria? Is it even possible? I can only imagine how effective someone who managed to succeed in all those areas would be!

Imagine, for example, if John Coltrane, rather than being a troubled soul, had been all of those things I just mentioned. Think of what he could have done for the world of jazz! For music as a whole! Think of the lives that could have been positively influenced and inspired! This is a whole new level of greatness. Above and beyond merely being great at some thing.

I want to be all those things. But wanting alone won't get me there. I've wanted to be all those things my whole life, yet at 32, my life is as unbalanced as it ever was!

Clearly, more is needed. The desire to be better, in itself, will get you nowhere. But "forcing" yourself to "try to do better" in those areas, doesn't work, either. I'll talk more about this in the next post...

The Stan

A Lesson in Personal Change

I went absolutely nowhere this last weekend. I didn't really do much of anything, either. But it was a fantastically productive weekend because of a few hours I spent in private thought on Sunday afternoon.

What I was thinking about, and the conclusions I came to, will be the subject of the next few posts.

When I was in college, my trumpet professor had a small piece of paper tacked on the bulletin board just outside his office that read, "Without change, there can be no improvement."

I don't remember who this quote was attributed to, but it has stuck with me all these years and I'll never forget it. Without any further elaboration, it's a powerful lesson.

So simple. Yet so profound.

I believe this phrase, which I think about nearly everyday, is part of the inspiration for me to try new and different things. As Matt Bingham told me recently, "The Stan, you're a man of ventures. Everyone else, when I ask them what they've been up to, say 'Oh...you know...same 'ole, same 'ole.' But you...you're always up to something!"

I can't help it. Without change, there is no improvement. My greatest fear is stagnation. Or worse, degeneration. Only the willingness to change, to try new things, to push yourself can you hope to become a better person.

The other day, I was reading the words of Igor Ledochowski, a well-known hypnotist and corporate consultant, when I came across a sentence that immediately struck me and will be with me for years to come:

"Great people become great because they got pushed--either by circumstances or by themselves--to keep growing on a daily basis."

Wow.

Did that ever hit home! "To keep growing on a daily basis." Not only is it important to change. It's important to change on a daily basis. Otherwise, it's too easy to become stagnant. Too easy to become lazy and complacent.

So what does it mean to be a "great person?" And how, exactly, do you become one?

This is what we'll discuss in the next few posts.

The Stan